Recently, The Biped was asked a series of probing questions about his thoughts on time travel, fine art, literature, photography, and incredibly – his morning ablutions. His answers are published below.
Why The Biped chooses to respond to such random inquiries is puzzling, but none of my business. Why anyone gives a damn about his opinions is no less baffling, but again – beyond my preview. However, when the writer of said questions includes a photo of The Biped holding a creature that bears a passing resemblance to yours truly, I feel duty-bound to correct the record.
To be clear, this is not me. I have no idea who it is, and I can’t imagine why the Biped is clutching him with such…familiarity. (Rest assured, we’ll have a candid chat about that later.) For now, permit me to remind you that I am not a squat, mustard-colored purebred with a giant head and a no discernible penis.
I am the perfectly proportioned mutt who frequents this page every Friday, (more or less,) and speaks truth to power.
Accept no substitutes.
Freddy